Because you'll become malnourished (although, like, completely fun and attractive) if you attempt to survive on body shots alone, you can now feed yourself off the female form thanks to Naked Sushi at the Catalina Hotel's Kung Fu Kitchen & Sushi, at which you and your group of voracious eaters can eat an entire meal off a remarkably fit platter of femaleness. Yes, this is all for serious. Here's a quick Q&A to handle the rest of your surely burning questions.
So let me get this straight: I just come in and there's a naked chick with sushi all over her?
Yes. You're clearly very good at reading the above words.
Why thank you, I went to DeVry. Since I'm definitely going just for the food, I guess it's worth asking what kind we're talking about.
You'll be completely undistracted from a spread featuring everything from tuna tartare tacos and sashimi, to spicy rock shrimp and the crab stick-packed Kung Fu Crunch roll, which Jet Li prepped for by doing tons of sit-ups.
Hey, you tell jokes! Awesome. I know you mentioned a group earlier. Do I have to bring one? How much sushi we talking here?
$500 gets you enough to feed 10, which is extremely reasonable when you consider it also includes "polite conversation" with the platter itself. And naked sushi platters love talking about their feelings on the new Total Recall.
Seriously! It's not even on Mars, what is he supposed to get his ass to?! And speaking of movies starring chicks with three boobs, what happens if the roll I want is, y'know... somewhere special?
Great question! All privates will be covered with giant banana leaves, which luckily for the platter, taste like complete crap.
Anything else I should know?
Well, for health code reasons, you can't actually just Hoover the sushi off a thigh, torso, etc -- after you remove the first few, a chef will come over and handle serving the rest. But she's still extremely naked.
What's the possibility of sake body shots?
Published: August 7, 2012 at 4:00am EDT
1720 Collins Ave
Miami Beach, FL 33139
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