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While often delicious-looking, video game food is unrealistic: unspoiled, health-restoring apples aren't really found under smashed trash cans, despite what people in Portland think. Finally allowing you to eat half as well as Haggar: Gourmet Gaming.

From a London food and game lover, this weekly updated Tumblr imparts actual, actionable recipes on the pixelated cuisine after which you've always lusted. Pause for a minute and check out these highlights:

The Bleeder: This insane burger's a clone of the Grand Theft Auto IV Burger Shot menu pic, and monstrously stacks two 1/4lb patties, two cheeses, four sauces, and mad bacon, meaning you can actually get bacon on your a** without murdering a hooker.

Health Potion: Inspired by the fantasy genre's iconic health serum, this sexy heft of cranberry gin, amaretto, lime, tonic, and vodka more specifically mimics the red ones in a game named Diablo, which means it must somehow involve car-murdering even more hookers than Grand Theft Auto IV.

The Cake Is A Lie: Their take on Portal's devil's food cake (yes, it was named after a famous baker who murdered hookers...from scratch!) is stuffed with vanilla cream cheese, smothered in a chocolate ganache, and pretty much makes everything else on here look like trash...so expect everyone in Portland to already be crawling all over this site.

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Worried about the degree of difficulty for making some of this fantastically nerdy ish? Fear not, as most of the stuff is pretty easy and the dude's even got a game-style level of difficulty indicator atop each recipe at GourmetGaming.co.uk.