Hefty's Roadhouse Round up your blindest guitar player and head to Bayport

Contrary to popular opinion, Hefty's is not named for the hundreds of trash bags they use every morning to haul out the debris from last night's raging party.

The Wild West saloon off Hwy 95 is just a stone's beer bottle's throw from the St. Croix River, and, like Swayze, pulls no punches about serving a frill-less menu of affordable meat 'n beer. You'll nosh on sammies like the "Texas Stacker" with Italian ham, gouda, slaw, and fries on Texas toast, apps like Wisonsin cheese curds and KC steak sliders, and straight-meat like a bourbon gravy-topped "Double Thick Porterhouse Chop" (...also the karate technique Swayze uses when striking that fat bouncer dude). The whiskey selection is appropriately honky tonk-ormous, and cold ones range from a fine selection of lawn-mower brews, to local crafts like Lift Bridge and Summit, but not Fulton, as Swayze already kicked the bouncer who weighs that much out of the bar.

And, since part of the reason you're driving to Bayport is to enjoy the views, Hefty's abides with a lawn-abutting patio outfitted with games like bean bag toss -- play to win, as again, Hefty's isn't full of ties.