Pizzeria DiMeo's Eat like Jay-Z dresses: very well

Proving Neapolitan can do more than guarantee everyone'll get some ice cream they like at a birthday party, Pizzeria DiMeo's is a 35-seat Italian joint crammed into a Roxborough strip mall, and dominated by an oak-fired oven, a massive neon Vesuvius, and a menu of insanely authentic Italian eats -- like, FedEx-ed-from-Naples authentic. Hungry? You should be. Here's what to get and why:

Pizza Margherita: So this dough is crazy -- the flour's milled in Naples and shipped over here along with the water, mixed and left to ferment for three days, then topped with imported olive oil & mozzarella di bufala, meaning this is something you'll probably really want to buy... son.

Brasato: There are just two places to get these paccheri noodles in the States: Mario Batali's Eataly, and here, where they're prepped al dente then topped with a cream sauce full of mushrooms, parmigiano reggiano, and fall-apart chunks of braised oxtail, aka what that bufala mozz is looking for when it hits the club.

La Nutella: Wrapping that dough around a line of (yawn) imported Nutella that's creamier than what you get in the US, this dessert's fired in the oven, dusted with powdered sugar, and cut into six pieces, making sure everyone in your party can have a bite… except for the kid puking SunnyD into the wading pool. He's partied enough.