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Slowburger
Giant burgers, with a side of tiny burgers

Portland

By swinging open the garage door on Slowburger in the NE mini-resto collective foretold by Led Zeppelin in 1973 ("The Ocean", duh), the team behind Slow Bar have ditched the ceviche and fondue to focus on mutating their lauded burger in the most deliciously deadly of ways

Said burgs're are a half-pound of Painted Hills beef served on fresh brioche and topped with beautiful stuff like gruyere, onion rings & butter lettuce; chipotle cheddar sauce, caramelized onions, and Tails & Trotters bacon; or fried pancetta, grape tomato relish, and blue cheese from Rogue Creamery, the cheesemakers favored by the Rebel Alliance's Jek Porkins. You can also grab 3oz sliders of any burger on the menu, plus sea-salt fries covered in "stinky" cheese and Trumer Pils-battered onion rings that're the size of CDs -- and like said CDs, they'll also quickly cease to exist, although it won't be quite as awesome to find a Case Logic full of onion rings in, like, four years

Even though most Americans enjoy drinking a fine aged cognac with their burger, Slow's instead opted to go totally wild with taps you can snag in growlers or pints to drink by the outdoor fire pit, including Manny's Pale Ale by Seattle's Georgetown and locals like Boneyard IPA and Double Mountain IRA, too much of which will have will have you very open to swinging... and not on the gallows pole.

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1. Slowburger 2329 NE Glisan St, Portland, OR 97232

Slowburger, from the makers of Slow Bar, dishes out quality burgers made from locally-sourced ingredients with all the tender care that a mother might give to their child. Unlike the child, however, these burgers are made for the express purpose of being eaten, and together with the tasty selection of beers on tap they should be enough to prove that sometimes good things are worth the wait.

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