Portland's Culinary Workshop Ladies help you cook like a dude

Finding a school with a curriculum that suits your needs can be hard: do you attend Stanford to major in "pre-law", or Arizona State to Minor in Possession? For a cooking school that's right for you, try Portland's Culinary Workshop, open for registration now.

From a pair of veteran culinary college instructors (one a world traveler, the other a self-described kitchen ninja), this layman-friendly, hands-on institution features a library, a 10-burner double-oven American stove, tables built from upcycled Portland Public School doors and topped with induction burners, and, if all goes as planned, an atmosphere where students can "be silly... without throwing knives around", because this isn't an Insane Clown Pasta concert. Manful courses are highlighted by Baconcentric ("share your love of bacon on a level you may not have believed was possible"), Turducken: Step 1 ("take out all the bones in a chicken and leave it in the shape of a chicken"), and the butchery intro Mind Your Meat Mistress, also something you might say to a too-forward RuPaul. More esoteric stuff includes Science Geeks in the Kitchen, Feed Your Body: Nutrition 101, and Exploring Genetically Modified Foods, where students'll discuss "some of the issues surrounding this hot topic", weird, because you'd think a culinary school'd be more into discussing Orange Julius.

Workshop also plans to open a tiny retail affair where they'll vend their Top Ten kitchen essentials, from knives, to wooden spoons, to bowl scrapers, your #1 most important purchase if you're gonna dance with the Sun Devils.