thrillist

Small towns have long been called the backbone of America, but not the backboner of America, because that's Florida. Just look at that thing! Sticking that small-town style into Hayes Valley: Dobbs Ferry, opening today.

Run by four dudes, two of whom are actually from a small town outside of NYC, suburb-repping DF aims to serve ingestables you'd expect in a neighborhood Italian restaurant, and combines an austere main dining room with a giant bar room (with stainless steel pulley lamps and the building's original wood columns) to form an L-shape, but not an Elle shape, because unlike Macpherson, again, this place has food in it.

Chef'd by a former Ozuma kitchen-minder who was once a Top Chef guest judge/Padma Lakshmi boob-starer, the menu'll be flush with apps like fried pumpkin and pizza frites, plus pre-desserts that'll include a Shoemaker Chicken (Italian sausage, sweet or hot-on-request peppers, and cottage fried potatoes) and a braised pork shoulder-stuffed ravioli drizzled with pork sauce, also the nickname KY Jelly was considering before going with "f*** jam".

And with that in mind, there are also throat-sexing drinks like a Dobbs Ferry (Bud heavy and a Jameson shot), a Negroni Doble (like a normal negroni but with double espresso vodka), and a Death's Door Whiskey'd White Manhattan, which promises to make you bad at dancing but awesome at mid-range jump shots.

Oh, and in the coming weeks they'll be offering lunchables to go, which you can score from their Hayes St-located second entrance, though don't call it the back door, or Florida will get all excited.

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Click here for pictures of Padma's boobs (or menus, or something)