Tout Sweet Patisserie Desserts from the winner of Top Chef: Just Desserts? Preposterous!

While the Cheesecake Factory's lettuce wraps are a pretty good reason to hit Union Square, Tout Sweet Patisserie's a much better one. Like a Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory with far less psyche-scarring terror, the spankin' new dessert & breakfast shop comes from Top Chef: Just Desserts season one winner Yigit Pura, who's baking up everything from flaky Ham and Cheese "Pop Tarts", to marshmallows in flavors like Tahitian Vanilla Bean and the rum-and-coconut "Tipsy", even though they really just make you easy to tip over.

The most awesomely named stuff? The cakes, of which these three are definitely the stars:

Tesla Tart: Not Edison's nickname for Nikola's mom but definitely inspired by the latter inventor, this "taste bud-shocking" creation brings the Meyer lemon, passion fruit, and yuzu.

Monster Paws: The owner's friendship with Lady Gaga practically necessitated the creation of Paris-Brests (tee hee) filled with a praline-coffee mousseline, which of course is made with whipped cream and eggs that are raw raw ah ah ahhhh.

Fifth Element: Thankfully owing more to Milla Jovovich's outfit than to that alien opera singer with the keys to Earth's salvation conveniently stashed in her stomach, this vanilla bean Italian sponge cake boasts layers of raspberry cream, fresh fruit, and oolong tea-infused white chocolate mousse -- so your world of pure imagination has arrived, and soon you will be too fat to fit through a very large pipe.