So imagine if Biergarten met Off The Grid and they had a baby. And then, meanwhile, Zeitgeist and Hayes Valley Proxy met and had a baby. And then by some miracle, if those two babies met, and sexed, they would birth the SoMa StrEatFood Park, grand opening Wednesday.

Anchored by a heated, open-air barn outfitted with WiFi, a German beer hall's worth of picnic tables (inside and out), and a projector screen that'll be used to show movies and, ugh, sports, this 500-person, Portland-inspired food truck pod will house up to 10 mobile eats vendors, seven days a week, in quite possibly the most Portland-inspired al fresco lunch/dinner-ing spot in SF.

Even cooler: It'll come with bike parking (!), bathrooms (!!), a boutique clothing truck (?), and (in the coming months) a beer-and-wine license that'll turn this thing into a legitimate food truck beer garden, and make Grandpa Zeitgeist and Grandma Hayes Valley Proxy crazy proud.