The greatest thing to come out of Scandinavia since the Nobel Peace Prize socialist healthcare Elin Nordegren wait... yeah... Elin Nordegren, Plaj is a schmancy Scandinavian-staurant now open inside the Inn at the Opera. There's a 50-seat interior (non-lit fireplace, intimate hardwood seating, a silver-chained lamp-lit eight-seat bar) Leif Ericson would totally plunder, way more importantly though (especially if you liked this video), it's got an honest-to-goodness Swedish Chef.

Like rent in your one-bedroom San Francisco apartment, his menu's split four ways: starters (Hagen!) like hollandaise-covered white asparagus topped w/ a 63°C egg & fried sourdough; seafood (Fjord!) like crocodile(?)-poached lobster salad w/ whitefish caviar, horseradish, avocado & chili; meats (Beta!) like birch syrup-glazed pork belly with potato dumpling kumla; and dessert (Godis!) like Cardamom Spoon Crème Brulee.

And because sexual performance is totally overrated, drink your way through a bar stocked with Scandinavian 'tails (try The Plajer: Buffalo Trace, dried apricot cinnamon gastrique, strawberry) and beer (Beer Here Dark Hops hoppy Black Ale, Oppigards Well-Hopped Lager...), which you'll totally want to plunder. So Leif already.