The Troubadour Baker Is going to make you mad fat

Remember when bakers used to just hang out in tubs with butchers and candlestick-makers? Well, luckily for you, at least one no longer does it, because he's started the Troubadour Baker.

The brain-baby of Tilikum Place Cafe pastry chef Michael Seidel, TB is essentially a special delivery service, but instead of delivering you babies like most delivery services run by animated storks, he's dropping off myriad baked goodness. It works like this: every Monday between 1 and 4p, you'll get a box of baked things totally willing to watch old episodes of The Snorks with you made from scratch, enough to feed two people, or 1/8th of Louie Anderson. The treats will range, but a typical box might contain cookies, cinnamon swirl bread, spiced nuts, brownies, "super delicious" fruit-and-nut granola and a "baker's surprise", which could be anything from Middle Eastern semolina cake or biscuits, to A 2007 NISSAN ROUGE! Or, you know, an apple crostata.

The service is $40 for one time, but gets cheaper the more weeks you subscribe, and he'll just leave your treats on the doorstep -- perfect for people who can't come to the door because they're stuck in the tub with a dude hacking up sides of beef and a guy covered in wax.