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DC knows that it's all in the interpretation, like Scalia's strict one of the Constitution, or Bader Ginsburg's loose one of the Court dress code, as that skimpy jabot leaves almost no neck to the imagination -- rawr! Now bringing The District his "acclaimed interpretation of modern Italian cooking”: Enzo Fargione's Elisir.

From the guy Esquire named “One of the best four chefs to watch in the USA” right before convincing you that Javier Bardem is indeed handsome, Elisir pairs Fargione's gastronomical modernity with tech-y features like hand-held card payment systems, and cameras broadcasting a live kitchen feed to five LCD monitors and...the internet! For your own personal live feeding, there's a roasted veal filet in an orange/ mascarpone cheese sauce, pan-seared cubes of tuna loin served rare w/ porcinis, and a seared salt-cured duck breast in an "aromatic quince ragu", though anyone who's been to a 15yr-old girl's birthday party knows they always stink. For lunch, there's a prix fixe of gratinee cannelloni pasta stuffed with spinach, ricotta and mozz; marinated, spicy pork ribs w/ fingerling potatoes; and a veal stew prepared "Tuscan style" with peas, tomato, potatoes & crunchy polenta, so yeah, they basically threw in a little Pisa everything.

Equally artful attention's paid to the cocktails, including a housemade sparkling Negroni “soda”, a gin/ green chartreuse/ maraschino drink w/ sea salt pop rocks, and the Tenatre Feito w/ bourbon & housemade Campari “marshmallow”, all of which'll ensure that just like Ruth, you'll start acting all sexy after passing the bar.

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See the whole list of cocktails, like one with house-smoked cherries right here