King of Kabob Meat sticks in a subterranean dining room

Claiming you're the king of something means you'd better blow away the competition... unless of course you're the actual king, in which case you can just put the competition in the stocks and pelt them with mad tomatoes and stuff. Confidently predicting a skewering of the competition/meat: King of Kabob.

From the crew beyond Arlington's line-inducing, award-winning Food Factory, KOK's (ha!) nearly hidden entrance opens into a small-but-regal counter-orderer glammed up in red and gold, and stuffed with black leather chairs, pin-cushion booths, and faux columns, aka what Luke Wilson creates for his concerned agent in a spreadsheet titled "Salads I've Eaten This Week". Fresh-baked, tandoori naan-accompanied kabob plates include the spicy Peshawari Chapli (ground beef patties), and boneless chunks of marinated, hickory-flame-licked beef shish kabob; or, should you be with the whole fam/celebrating the wrap of a new commercial about rollover minutes, hit the chicken/ lamb/ chapli “King Platter". To further spice things up, there are daily specials like Tuesday's Achari Chicken cooked in a blend of spices and served w/ Achari masala, Wednesday’s Zamarut (Emerald) Palau with seasoned rice "cooked in perfect harmony with spinach", and Friday's sautéed okra, marking the first time Friday's has offered something not deep-fried and accompanied by Sizzlin' Shrimp (TM).

While currently dry and not filled with delicious smoke, King's hard at work setting up a patio for hookah and acquiring a liquor license, meaning soon, viciously hurled heirlooms won't be the only thing you'll take to the face.