Calder Originals

If you're gonna invest two paychecks in a laptop, load it with irreplaceable documents, then wrap it in a $10 sleeve, you might as well kiss your vast library of Winamp skins goodbye. Invest in your laptop's safety, with Calder Originals.

The brainchild of a former British TV exec whose own comp drolly exploded on the concrete, CO's freakishly protective cases combine "great strength, low weight and handsome appearance", a much-needed counterbalance to your weak fat ugly. Luxe comes in the form of a highest-quality Swedish leather exterior, and a hand painted, ultra-soft silk velvet lining, while strength's meted out via a removable suspension system composed of three varieties of technical foam covered in calf skin, and a carbon fiber structural lining that's stronger than steel, but not adamantium, which is definitely real. Each bag requires some 35 hours of local artisan labor to hand-assemble, but once your order's in, CO'll send along photos of the construction process while you wait, letting you become intimate with your bag's history, but inevitably causing a rift when you can't get over the image of those dirty hands all over her.

If you're looking to armor other valuables, CO also builds similarly diesel cases for violins and guitars -- fail to get one, and you might as well kiss your limited-edition Devo keytar goodbye.