thrillist

Peanut butter's the cornerstone of a healthy childhood -- but since you still spend your days playing video games and looking at pictures of naked ladies despite the watchful eyes of older people who yell at you, who's to say it's not also the cornerstone of an unhealthy adulthood? Get some Spread.

Started in SoCal in 2004 by a former law student, Spread's a lineup of 130 peanut-and-almond-based spreads, made healthier than "butters" by foregoing extra oils and, to the immortal consternation of George Washington Carver, tarted up with locally-sourced, gourmet organic ingredients. Just available today's the "Munchies" collection, four 4-ounce peanut-based jars testifying to the stoner's predilection for oddball combos: Pina Colada (unsulphured pineapple/coconut/white chocolate), Butterscotch Toffee (do the math), Ode To Elvis (floral honey/unsulphured bananas/soy bacon), and Cannabis Kissed Chocolate -- house dried raisins, high-in-omega-3s hemp seed, and "magic"... Anyway, other creations of an addled mind include Mexican Chocolate Almond, White Chocolate Cantaloupe Almond, Cinnamon Cherry Peanut, and Gold 'n Dark Chocolate Peanut -- with actual edible 23K flakes, it gives glittery new meaning to the phrase "sh**ting bricks".

Spread'll also do custom blends using 200+ ingredients encompassing everything from rare teas to house-made salts, plus out-there bases like macadamias and pistachios -- no matter how old you get, you never get tired of playing with nuts.

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Order nut butter online at SpreadTheRestaurant.com