That's My Face

It's weird listening to a recording of your own voice: you always sound totally different from what you'd expect, although it does help you realize why it's been so easy to get upgraded at hotels under the name Bobcat Goldthwait. Well, prepare to get even weirder, with a model of your own face from That's My Face.Using state-of-the-art facial analysis and reconstruction technology, TMF uses photos to build startlingly lifelike custom 3-D face/head models, which they turn into novelty portraits, custom action figures, or sculptures made from a hard resin composite, finally producing a head even harder than your own. To face yourself/anyone, first choose how exactly you want the mug immortalized by selecting an end-product, from the "Portrait", a rendering of just the front of your face worked onto a tile, or made into a wearable mask; as a sculpture that can be hollowed for use as a jar, or poked with holes to form a pen-holding "pinhead"; or, coolest of all, have it slapped onto a custom action figure, complete with outfit (cowboy, CIA commando, surfer, superhero..."casual basic") and hairstyles, like bald, sculpted, cyborg, or "wig", letting you finally envision how cool you'd look without a mullet. Once you've settled on body deets, you'll upload/email/mail TMF at least one high-res front photo of the face you want modeled, plus additional photos of the L/R profiles if possible; from there, they'll design your face in full 24-bit color using movie studio-quality tech, then manufacture it using techniques developed in the car prototyping industry, but since you already exist, if they reject your face, they'll just have to kill you.If having your face sculpted isn't weird enough you can also get it set in crystal, or have them format it into a foldable 3-D paper print-out, which you can assemble and place on your desk right next to your miniature Scotches and list of scream jokes.