Toyland H Street goes back to the future

Like his Wizards career, Michael Jordan's DC steakhouse was a fly-by-night misstep that would've been better skipped in favor of more, increasingly homoerotic Fruit of the Loom commercials. Going for something more lasting: the team behind Toyland.

A 60s-inspired lounge full of blue vinyl, linoleum, and sharply angular lines suggestive of Cadillac fins, Toyland's helmed by a pair of hospitality vets who actually helped open MJ's meaty salute to himself, but are now aiming for a more low-key environment built for long-term neighborhood enjoyment. Oh, and booze. The signature cocktails -- designed by a former Acadiana and Cieba bar manager -- include tweaked classics like the "Urban Bourbon Side Car" (w/ lemon juice/honey agave water/orange twist), the Beatles-inspired "Long Tall Suzie" (w/ gin/Pimm's/bitters/ginger), and the vodka/iced tea/simple syrup "Mom's Palmered", though it's not nice to accuse the woman who nursed you of being a total endorsement whore. The four taps are TBD, but the serious bottle collection boasts Abita, Racer 5 IPA, and ales like Brooklyn, Red Seal, Rogue Dead Guy, Hopback Amber, and Red Rocket -- drink one, and your frantic leg humping will cause everyone in the bar to hop back.

Though the food menu's still in the works, they've settled on some "mid-century American" eats, including Turkey Meatloaf w/ garlic mashed potatoes, and a signature burger topped with a fried green tomato -- perhaps an ode to Jessica Tandy, who unlike MJ gave it her all even after becoming Her Gray Hairness.