A fresh innovation in the wine world

Box wine sometimes gets a bad name, aka "box wine". Opt instead for a really nice box of really nice wine, with the20.

Just now available to DC consumers after being deployed in restaurants nationwide last year, the20's an in-home cask/delivery service that brings high-end vino to your doorstep via patented technology allowing it to stay fresh (after being opened) for about a month, and giving you "the freedom to enjoy as much or as little as you like at any time", which Patrick Kennedy spent years trying to get written into the Bill of Rights. First, order the handcrafted red oak box cask (about the size of an Xbox, with a stainless steel exterior tap), then pick your poison (from amongst some of the West Coast's highest quality artisan vineyards) from their online "theCellar" store, and they'll ship out your grape juice via 3L, proprietary tri-laminate bags that minimize air/light ingress, and connect easily to the spout system without any "extra plugs", meaning they'll just have to shout out their new book on Fallon or something. Should you lack the desire or knowledge to pick for yourself, you can also opt to receive a bag of their choice every month by signing up for their zero-commitment "theClub", which fittingly, should also stop you from driving.

And because even quality box wine's about saving a buck, the20 passes down to you the money it saves getting wine straight from the barrel (no costs for corks/bottles/etc.), and claims you'll be getting 25-50% off their premium wines -- a compelling argument that should win over even the boxiest lady.