50 Splinters

They say a man is only as great as his tools allow him to be, though it seems rather doubtful that Michael Jordan ever needed permission from Jud Buechler for anything. Making you a better man in the kitchen thanks to tools that didn't play college ball at 'Zona, 50 Splinters.

Launched by an kitchen-minding freight train conductor living just outside of Modesto, 50 Splinters handcrafts ironically awesome cutting boards for Anthony Bro-dains that'll literally allow you to slice your meat on a piece of meat: offerings range from a maple-based T-bone steak board, to a 3/4"-thick whole hog, to a slider-serving 8.5"x10" burger block, also what they called it on Sex and the City when Samantha prevented Carrie from talking to the dude she dated in Season Six...or something. Really, who even watches that show? Board designs are freehand sketched onto the wood, cut with a bandsaw, sanded until smooth, and sealed with mineral oils/wax, with necessary detailing (like fat lines on the T-bone) and even personalized initials seared onto chopping blocks with a propane torch-heated steel rod, which'll help keep the markings forevvvvvver young. The process is also used on non-meat carvings like a pear (for dicing fruit), a map of Italy (for slicing cheese), and a maple leaf made with maple wood (for his amusement), plus by-request weirdness like a sauce paddle that looks like a nine iron or a cutting board that resembles a VW van, which was easy to design, thanks to the sketch(iness).

Best of all, 50 also shells out 1lb bags of cherrywood chunks for your BBQ smoker that he recommends you soak for up to 24hrs before cooking for the greatest amount of smoke flavoring; then again, that could just be a bunch of Bull.