Alpine Wine Design Furniture with a good body, hints of radness

It makes sense that the wine world would eventually produce furniture, as all those snooty asses need to get parked somewhere! Behold: Alpine Wine Design, a Lakewood-based workshop crafting fine "wine furniture" and home décor from recycled vino crates & barrels, all run by a classically trained actor who presumably switched fields after realizing relatively few theatrical careers have a clean finish.

Barrel creations run from a stained oak table whose distinct curved stave (the sides of a barrel) seats look quite comfortable, to a sushi board finished with food-safe oil, to a burgundy-steeped wine rack that stands 30" tall and holds 12 bottles, which VH1's Verne Troyer scoffs at, while crashing his adorable little scooter into a wall. Equally cool wine crate offerings range from 24"/ 29" saddle stools emblazoned with thousands of winery logos from Napa/ Sonoma (Silver Oak, Opus One), to single or double dog feeder stands that come with stainless steel bowls, to a simple oval tray that's finished with three coats of lacquer and is perfect for "serving meat fresh off the grill", but not off the Grylls, because dude will straight murder you before giving up the vital proteins in his raw chunk of rotted goat.

Should the above not satisfactorily show off how much grape you pour down your gullet, they've got purely decorative coolness like a woodframed 50-cork trivet, an actual cork(s) bulletin board, and fridge-stickable cork magnets, which are also what you call the suave guys at tastings who're always pulling (gl)ass.