thrillist

When a normal bottle opener just won’t do, and your regular brass knuckles are at the shop getting tuned, there’s Bust a Bottlecap: a Zima-popping line of stainless steel openers that come in several intimidating forms because, like the creator says, "no one's going to mess with the guy with a metal fist", unless of course it’s a punk-ass soft metal like cesium. The goods:

Classic Knuckles: The pioneer design is outfitted with "heavy-duty" metal, and comes in a ton of colors like purple, orange, red, and electric blue, or what they called the guy from Old School when he was around 45, and they installed electricity in his house.

9mm Kill Shot: This sucker was hatched while constantly twirling the aforementioned opener like Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen, but just be sure not to wield this gat while yelling “break yo-self, fool!!”, because you’ll be yelling it at your bottle and then won’t have any beer.

Blade: Although it’s unclear exactly how many silly non-Daywalker vampires it can kill, Blade tears open bottles crazily fast, which's why it's made "for the ninja in the house", or failing that, the dude with the totally hilarious “Strictly for My Ninjas” t-shirt. Man, that guy’s great.

And because they're pretty good at being awesome, in the next couple months BAB’ll drop a new line of openers featuring full-color, quite busty/leggy pinup girls, who'll ensure that your alkali metal-fists are the only thing that's soft.

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Head over to BustABottlecap.com to pick up the entire kick-ass collection