Knowing full well only a fool would attempt to recreate the onscreen chemistry of Whoopi Goldberg and Ted Danson in a zany sperm-donor-mishap romp (racial tensions are hilarious!), 2nd Story Wood Co operates under the motto "ReMade In America", salvaging lumber from 19th-century homes, mills, & barns around NC to build refined-yet-rustic homegoods sporting elegant nail holes and other "beauty marks" (Cindy Crawford Home lawsuit pending). The lineup:

The Old Mill: The OM sits on a base of custom-cut-and-welded steel just like the rest of their benches, but's distinguished by its top of heart pine that once served as flooring in a textile mill, itself "unusual in that it was situated in a rural area and was miles away from an urban workforce", so apparently they also wanted to fabricate some jobs.

BarnSide Coffee Stand: While the deeply grooved barn wood it's made of may be 120yrs old, the java you'll make with BarnSide'll taste much fresher thanks to a slot for a slow-drip filter.

Rough Sawn Side Tables: Rocking c-shaped steel legs, these guys're more than 150+ yrs old, sport obvious saw marks, and've been given a clear matte finish to "protect from spills", though lowbrow slapstick of that kind really has no place in anything that's Made In America.