Audiomasons Speakers that literally rock

Stones have long been prominently featured in music, from Sly's Family, to The Rolling, to the Temple Pilots, all of whom got so themselves'd on drugs they often weren't able to play any. What they were able to jam out, though, should be listened to through stone, specifically Audiomasons.

Because wood creates "fuzzing" and metal "rings", the group of MI-based artists & physicists behind Audiomason craft their seriously high-end, computer monitor-sized speakers out of limestone, which's mined from the same quarry as the stuff at The Pentagon, where they only listen to "War", and then dance around shouting "Absolutely everything!" while launching bonkers nuclear weapons. The three models comprise the flagship 125W Bastion, fitted with a 3-way full-spectrum system so you can hear songs like you've "never heard them before"; the waterproof, 115W Comet, optimized for outdoor listening; and the attention-grabbing 165W Luxs, whose myriad features include an LED-backlit cone that glows the color of your choice along with the beat, ensuring your Blues are extra Moody. But that's not all! The team also builds fully bespoke jobs in case you'd like yours:

• Small enough to fit on a desk or big enough to take over the corner of a room
• Made from different stone like marble, granite, or basalt, also how very busy fishermen shorthand descriptions of their attack on smallmouth
• Sitting on feet of nickel, platinum, or gold-plated brass
• Inlaid with any material "that can be easily cut" (no diamonds)
• Engraved with anything from your initials to photo-real images
• Finished with jagged chiseling, a variety of fabric upholstery, a dip in glass, or an acid treatment, which, if Sly, The Rolling, or Temple Pilots were any indication, will have them sounding awesome, and then sounding nothing at all