Own Human history, on a flash drive

The largest obstacle in cramming all of "humanity's accumulated wisdom" into a paper-thin area less than one inch wide is not the technology, but the fact that all of humanity is super litigious when it comes to intellectual property rights. Thankfully, the Academic Board of Advisors behind eVr1's skirted this issue by pillaging public domain canonical texts, Wikipedia, and the CIA World Factbook in creating a "modern codex". Permanently stitched inside stylish leather pouches, each apocalypse-proof memory card can withstand 950 psi, 8000 volts & temps up to 500 degrees, and contains useful information including:

• Sacred texts including the King James Bible, The Koran, The Tao of Steve, and The Dhammapada, though Dhammed if you know what that is
• A description of every country's geography, people, gov't, economy, transportation, and military
• "Practical manuals" such as US Army Survival Guide, Agriculture for Beginners, The Art of Angling, and How to Live, which anyone finding this codex millenia later will immediately recognize as total BS
• Musings on the human condition from notable scientists, philosophers, and psychologists
• 100+ classic literary texts covering everyone from Shakespeare, to Plato, to Thoreau, to Proust, a man who couldn't even cram his own accumulated wisdom into 3200 pages