Own A cyber assistant that'll manage your crib

You know how whenever you watch 2001: A Space Odyssey you find yourself thinking "Man, how cool would it be to have a computer to talk to that could help run my life, and in no way try to murder me"? Well meet Ubi: an intuitive, voice-activated, nightlight-sized computer that plugs into any wall outlet, and can simplify your life by...

• Performing voice-enabled Internet searches for questions like "How much does a new TV cost?", or "How many tablespoons are in an oz?"
• Providing visual/audio cues when you get an email, or a stock drops below a certain threshold, or the weather's about to change, because hey, looking out the window is hard
• Measuring a room's temp, humidity, air pressure, and ambient light using built-in sensors, and sending you a text if they change, a great feature for people with growing marijuana children
• Communicating with other WiFi-enabled devices around the house, from Nest thermostats, to TVs, to another with Ubi, creating an instant intercom
• Making calls on speakerphone, managing an "audio calendar", and recording voice memos, which when it concerns murderous spaceships should always be "Save yourself from hell"