thrillist

Taking a page out of the Mariners' current rebuilding plan, Seattle-based mad scientist/avid insect photographer Greg Francke (aka “dobart”) intentionally screws things up, though, instead of resulting in $27.5 mil/year in lead-off hitters, in his case you get not-really-useful-but-incredibly-awesome "artifacts of a scientifick and obscure character", which amounts to things like his own conception of George Clinton's "Bop Gun" and, yes, things do get weirder from there:

Perfect for Aiding Post-Ironic Prayer: A portable tabernacle for "today's digital pilgrim", the ChurchTron5000 comes in a time-worn travel case and generates a "reflective atmosphere" thanks to electronic candlelight, as opposed to electronic Candlebox, which is huge in Icelandic discotheques.

Perfect for Deflecting Mind Control: The Tinfoiler Zero is Doc Brown's second favorite thing after making fake bombs for Libyans who have zero problems bringing rocket launchers to mall parking lots, presumably because it looks just like what he was wearing when he met Marty back in '55, only in this case the oscillators, amplifier, filter, etc. on the outside are meant to STOP people from reading your mind.

Perfect for Communicating with Little Green Men: This Extraterrestrial Knowledge Transfer Device is really just a kids' toy that's been "carefully hacked" to allow for the production of lots of weird noises that aliens supposedly love, all on a budget of just $264,423.00 per run scored! "three AA batteries".

Add this to My Thrillist

Thankfully dude has posted must-read descriptions, plus YouTube videos for most items, giving you a chance to figure out what, if anything, these things are for besides making weird noises