thrillist

Putting the "crotch" in "crochet" -- and also, the "immature" in "your apartment" -- Silver Spring-based Man Junk's cross-stitched designs are based almost exclusively around your bro-business, fitting, as the Man asserts they were made while "watching Netflix in my underwear", so hopefully his bro-business isn't known as a Qwikster.

Procure and hang (...and then cover up when your parents visit) the following:

Baby, I've Got a Boner for You: This subtle message is done up with 14-count Aida (stitching nerd language), is displayed in a dark brown 4" x 6" frame, and will "let someone important know how hard they make your life".

Natural Habitat: "Embrace your inner man-beast", with this framed mixed-media piece that's got fake fur grossly overflowing the waistline of briefs, also what will be filed by the lawyer of any justifiably offended woman who walks into your apartment.

O Mighty Beard: Glorifying the bushiest of beards, this piece, insanely, has nothing to do with groins! It's actually a great way to class up your apartm... wait, no, this piece is marked as reserved for someone. Damn, the framed pubes one it is!

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This isn't 7th grade, don't hide your pride, and get you some right here