thrillist

Step One

Procure these ingredients from your local grocer (or roommate's fridge): 1/2 cup mayonnaise, 8oz block cream cheese, 3/4 cup shredded cheese (suggested Jack, cheddar, and Parmesan), 1tsp Old Bay seasoning, 2 large roasted jalapenos, 2 strips bacon (thick cut peppered bacon preferred), 1/2 pound (or more) crabmeat of choice. Beer, optional.

Step Two

Realize you have to have cream cheese at room temp, do some something else to occupy yourself, like washing your Scott Tolzien jersey.

Step Three

Expand your knowledge with some heavy reading...

Step Four

Get bored and realize you can cheat.

Step Five

Combine the cream cheese, Old Bay, mayo, and shredded queso into one bowl. Behold, the eighth wonder of the world: the cheese waterfall.

Step Six

Realize maybe a whisk was the wrong kitchen tool to use. Try a spatula?

Step Seven

Cut the jalapenos in half and remove the seeds, if you're a pansy... like us.

Step Eight

Place jalapenos on foil and broil them for 4-5mins until lightly charred.

Step Nine

Even though the recipe only calls for two slices, cook them all, because bacon.

Step Ten

Chop the bacon and jalapenos then fold them and the crab meat into the cheese mixture (what's "fold" mean? It's just fancy for "stir".).

Step Eleven

Place the gooey deliciousness in a baking dish and put it in the oven at 350 degrees for 8-10mins or until hot and bubbly.

Step Twelve

Serve immediately with chips or sourdough (or some other lesser, not-San Franciscan bread, if you must). And find out where to grab more awesome Tim Luym originals here.

And be sure to check out even more crazy-simple recipes that will make Mr. Little Caesar really jealous, in our national Super Bowl Snacking roundup.