Las Vegas

4455 Paradise Road; 800.473.7625‎

Opening in June, Rick's and the Rock have collabed on a nightclub-themed suite sure to cause nothing but trouble, outfitted with a dance floor, club lighting and sound systems, a fully stocked bar, a stripper pole, and a perfect view of the Rehab Pool -- a picturesque reminder of all the women who refused to come to your suite and ride your pole.

3667 Las Vegas Blvd South; 866.716.8130

Since you'll hopefully never be in Springfield, Mass, hit up the Hall's new Vegas outpost for historical look-backs at peach baskets on poles, inspirational speeches from Wooden to Lenny Wilkens, artifacts like Wilt's 100-points jersey, and a video journey through momentous shots where you can recreate the announcers' play-by-play, or bust out with what you would've exclaimed, e.g., "A Pax on Barkley's houses!".

3025 Industrial Rd; 702.796.6000

Sapphire's hosting a kick-off long weekend for their dancer-stocked topless pool at the Rio with a grand opening party on Saturday May 2nd, a $300 poker tourney on Sunday the 3rd, and a charity golf tournament on Monday the 4th where the lusty caddies'll make sure golf pants turn heads, even if they're khakis.

6870 S Rainbow Blvd Suite 120; 702.478.8000

Selling in-store only, Aces stocks a small but sweet selection of wearable-anywhere gear (notably a pair of half leather, half houndstooth Bob Cousy PF Flyers), but much of their stuff's just-short-of-over-the-top, from a white, pinstriped dress shirt with a gothic cross on the chest, to a silver brass knuckle necklace -- aggressively stating, "If you want to fight, start by yanking me around by this necklace".

2535 Las Vegas Blvd South; 702.737.2111

The venerable Sahara may be cheaper now than in 1952, with room rates for the next three months hovering right around $25 a night, leaving you plenty of cash to go medium-pimping at their $3 blackjack tables. The hotel also boasts a 70mph roller coaster called "Speed", whose loops'll leave you so dizzy, you'll swear you saw that guy from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.