Something radioactive in the desert air can turn anything into a monument to unrestrained awesomeness -- which explains why a humble Round Table Pizza is now The Excalibur. Doing the same for Chinese food, Beijing Noodle #9.

Inside Caesars, #9's a 5th Element/Floston Paradise take on a Chinese restaurant: enter through a corridor of six huge Ryukin goldfish tanks, and you'll find a near-blinding-bright room balancing traditional red lanterns with laser-cut, LED-backlit, white metal walls intended to create a "golden flower shield" (so wait, it's keeping golden flowers out?). Amazingly, cuisine veers traditional, with chefs using century-old noodle hand-rolling techniques to augment dishes like twice marinated Deep-Fried Duck, golden brown crispy Beef Pancakes filled with savory beef and herbs, and Salt & Pepper Shrimp; to guarantee freshness, the kitchen dips into both fresh- and saltwater aquaria, the closest you'll come to finding Hair during this dining experience. Drink choices include eight rotating, not-particularly Chinese sakes, signature cocktails like the Ketel One/sparkling blueberry sake "Phoenix", and three traditional Chinese spirits: Jiu Giu Jiu, Moutai, and the five-grain Wu Liang Ye -- described as "the aggregate of the quintessence of the heaven, the earth, and the human" (also the descrip of the final dude in Mortal Kombat).

For larger posses, #9's installed two over-sized round tables, both with giant Lazy Susans -- which could only be more awesome if The Excalibur stole one, then got back to its roots by blanketing it with a zesty red-sauced Montague's All-Meat Marvel.

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The future is China at CaesarsPalace.com