Los Angeles

A man's swimsuit needs are as distinct as his fingerprint, whether it's the number of pockets, presence of netting, or the waistline's ability to veil your large plumber's butt. This summer Birdwell Beach Britches are covering your ass.

Birdwell's the undisputed king of custom board shorts. Starting at just $39, they'll build your perfect pair of trunks: options include colors, stripes, length, vents, floral prints, and extra pockets -- in case your car seat's running dangerously low on sand. No matter your aesthetic preferences, Birdwell's Santa Ana shop crafts your suit from double-layered fabrics, double-or-triple-stitched so durably that the shorts can last up to 25 years, or until your summer hotdog diet causes you to burst through them, sending a kid to the hospital and six to therapy.

Turnaround times vary: a basic short that they have on hand can go out within a day, while complicated custom jobs take a few weeks and up, especially during "high season" -- which lasts year-round when all you'll wear are boardshorts.