Los Angeles

Meat's undeniably great, but sometimes the beef/chicken/pork triumvirate can feel like a dining tyranny. To rescue you from carnivorous doldrums, check out Harmony Farms.

HF is a meat market of the exotic variety (rather than the Stella-drinking-dudes-who-reek-of-Axe sort). This unassuming butcher shop's stocked with everything from rattlesnakes and turtles to alligator and kangaroo, all prepared in accordance with Ted Nugent's strict culinary guidelines: dead. All of the meat's antibiotic and hormone-free, meaning no man-made poisons will mask the bouquet of your snake's natural ones. If you've somehow mislaid your Joy of Cooking Reptiles and Marsupials, don't worry: HF's cheerful butchers have put together a recipe compendium that'll make your stomach growl as loudly as your future lunch once did.

If you find even this Noah's Arkish spread lacking, Harmony'll also skin, chop, and cube any creature to've found itself on the business end of your rifle/Hyundai. One way or the other, you'll come away from this protein-fest satisfied, more than can be said for the last time you went "hunting" -- at Saddle Ranch, when you ended up taking home the mechanical bull.