Los Angeles

While baseball games offer the youthful thrill of eating cigar-shaped meat, they also force you to sit through at least a few tedious innings of baseball. For cased deliciousness without hours of balls, check out Infield, in free-dog preview mode today and fully open on Wed.

A shrine to the bunned ballpark experience, Infield's owned by the family behind former tenant The Dip, and thematically decor'd by a pro set designer who worked on Tremors 3 (in which hot-dog-shaped creatures again tried to eat Michael Gross). Because atmosphere enhances taste, the exterior's done up like a ticket window, while the inside's decked out with custom-made bleachers, actual seats from real MLB venues (Dodger, Busch, etc), and a PA system that blares organ music and vintage announcers' calls, like "Sweet Jesus, somebody pull Fernando off the soft-pretzel boy". Grub-wise, the main event's Farmer John Dodger Dogs, with other players including Vernon, CA's Papa Cantella, the East Coast's Hebrew National and Sabrett, and wagyu dogs from New Zealand -- a country whose alarming exodus of young, single men could mean their sausage party's coming to you.

Of course, you can't completely escape watching baseball: a projection screen'll be showing classic match-ups, and live games are a probability in the future -- so the only thing you'll miss out on is paying $20 for parking, and the youthful thrill of peeing in a trough.