Los Angeles

8826 Melrose Ave, West Hollywood; 310.278.3684

The former Doug Arango's transformed itself from stuffy restaurant to casually intimate date spot, with low-lit booths, a working fireplace, dishes like veal porterhouse w/ sauteed escarole, and a wine list of 600 bottles -- the exact number required for you to make intimacy seem even remotely casual.

At Alpha: 8625 Melrose, Mid Wilshire

The high-end men's Brookstone's adding Italian cashmere hats, scarves, and zip-up sweaters to an inventory that already ranges from leather messenger bags to iPod speakers to chrome condom dispensers -- which you'll definitely need due to your dazzling selection of new scarves.

At the Fairplex: 1101 W. McKinley Ave, Pomona

It's the last weekend of the fair, so skip the demolition derby and head straight for the Fried Coke -- Coca-Cola-syrup-soaked batter that's topped with cinnamon, whipped cream, more syrup, and a cherry. Maybe once all liquids have hit the oil bath, we'll finally get to taste Fried Air.

10962 Ventura Blvd, Studio City; 818.755.9851

Think you can quit your day job? Hit Axe for everything you need to become an overnight headliner: not just guitars but also Pro-Tools classes, accessories, and rock t-shirts -- necessary so that when your band flounders, people will still know you are heavily influenced by Dio.

In a MySpace rife with women trying to become the next Tia Tequila, this guy asks the tough questions: is the girl as "fun" as her profile suggests, were her pictures taken by a professional, etc. Though defiantly anti-starmaker, his mission's doomed to failure, because these girls have already arrived...on HottestGirlsOnMySpace.wordpress.com.