Los Angeles

1738 N Orange Dr, Hollywood; 323.462.3663

This new, intimate restaurant/lounge/club from some of the people behind LAX and Bolthouse Productions boasts food from the Cobras and Matadors guy (steak frites w/chive aioli; loup de mer w/haricot vert, dried tomatoes, picholine olives & cervil) in a space constructed to look like a NY loft, with walls of brick imported from an old Naval base and windows from Andy Warhol's Factory -- supporting the contention, "everyone's famous for 15 minutes, but fixtures are forever".

Tomorrow at UCB: 5919 Franklin, Los Feliz; 323.908.8702

Started in NYC, Stripped brings on a slew of performers (HBO-tested comedians, VH1-tested musicians, etc) to tell embarrassing tales of sex and woe, from the shame of getting caught masturbating to the shame of visiting planned parenthood with a small-penised man -- a condition you'd think would've defused any risk of parenthood on its own.

7661 Melrose, Mid Wilshire; 323.852.0008

The Table 8 guy's converted his resto into a gastropub-ish burgers 'n beer spot, with patties ranging from beef & turkey to ostrich/buffalo/lamb, 28 toppings (cave-aged gruyere, horseradish dijonaise, house-cured bacon, etc), and craft brews like Telegraph Ale and North Coast Red Seal Ale. For easy pairing, grab The Combo: three chef's choice gourmet sliders served alongside three 5oz cups of suds -- which seem small enough to consume infinitely but, like sliders, aren't.

Weds through Labor Day at the Beverly Center: 8500 Beverly Blvd, Mid-Wilshire

To drum up interest in their gelato/custard/ice cream hybrids, this mall desserterie's giving away free cones (Vanilla Explosion/Milk Chocolate/Strawberry Delight) every Wednesday 'til Labor Day -- after which Silky will cost money again, and you'll need a new excuse to hang out at the mall.

Upload any pic to this NSFW site (your car, your girlfriend, the Washington Monument) and AM will send it back in "adult mosaic" form, with naked, copulating pixels courtesy of erotic site Brazzers. The pixels are small, but not that small, so if you go blind it's only because you're masturbating too much.