Los Angeles

Subtle Butt

Despite what Big Pheromone tells you, it's a known fact that odors emitted by the human body are disgusting. Cover up the worst offender, with Subtle Butt.

From the same Irvine company that blessed the world with pit-stain-preventing Garment Guards, Butt's a thin, post-it size swatch of disposable black fabric designed to mask even your most profoundly distressing wafts. Just detach the two adhesive strips, then position the device on your undies so it sits right between your cheeks -- be careful to cover the entire area, as it only takes a few intrepid molecules to ruin an opera. When you loose a doozy, a layer of anti-microbial activated carbon will completely filter the stench; theoretically, a single strip's effective up to six months, though due to its inglorious placement, the company recommends you change it out whenever you change your underwear (so, every seven months).

November'll see a new product called "White Collar Grime" to combat neck-sweat stains -- when you're sitting down to a meeting with, say, Big Pheromone, "never let 'em see you sweat".

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