2009, the Year in Headlights

Food: The dining public enjoyed dumps like a truck, truck, truck, and thighs like what, although they refused to invite Sisqo, mostly because of his famous association with laundry.

Drinks: Toasts were made under the shade of a monstrous tree amongst scantily-clad Commie-lovers from the future seemingly obsessed with their own little science project.

Gear: To get spruced up, everyone went crazy for an old school chopper even after being caught exposing some leg while daydreaming about crazy, made-up Asian vehicles.

Events: The consciously unwashed masses enjoyed playing college-level games as highly particular suds snobs bobbed their heads, then happily ordered sauce with the show.

Services: Even the most hermetic shut in could find out his friends' peculiar habits, though whether or not to do anything about it meant grabbing a cab to leave the house in the first place.