The Bacon Freak Cookbook

The Joy of Cooking may be the most well-known cookbook in the world, but did you know it only has three recipes involving bacon? If you did, shoot yourself. If you're still alive, purchase The Bacon Freak Cookbook.

From the geniuses who brought you bacon-laden pancake mix and bacon jerky, The Bacon Freak Cookbook's exactly as genius as it sounds, with many of its hoggy recipes coming from renowned chefs, apparently none of whom are Jews. Each recipe's written specifically for a simpleton/non-cooker to follow, and're broken into categories, which start with delicious takes on traditionally porky meals, like breakfast (bacon burritos w/ avocado; biscuits & gravy w/ bacon grease-cooked sausage) and lunch treats like the Asian bacon Num Pang sandwich, and Chi-town stud Rick Bayless' avocado-mango salad, which's topped with four sow-strips, in case anyone ever overhears you ordering an "avocado-mango salad". There's also a slew of dinner options, including juicy bacon-wrapped lobster kebabs and a bacon-laced rice and beans recipe from a private yacht chef, as well as appetizers like shrimp BLT's w/ dijon mustard vinaigrette, bacon wrapped medjool dates w/ goat cheese & balsamic, and Atlanta chef Gary Unger's chipotle raspberry bacon (guess which three ingredients were left in his refrigerator?).

If your sweet tooth is obese, there're even deserts (bacon grilled s'more; pork-laden custard pie) and a couple of boozy drinks -- another well-known thing that can turn pretty much anything into a joy.