Bottle service is never cheap, but let it get out of hand, and the extravagant fun of a "big night out" can rapidly become the penniless no-fun of "girdled men repossessing your combo washer/dryer". Ensure your crunking's done at exactly the right price, with Velvet Nightlife.

Conceived as the "Priceline of bottle service" by a couple of Villa/Pearl promoters, just-launched Velvet lets you Shatner your night out by setting the exact lowball price you're willing to pay, then lets you know which clubs're desperate enough to bite. First, answer a series of questions: number of guests, date, area of town, music preference, specific club (eg, Avalon/ecco/Les Deux, etc), "special requests" ("can we bring a birthday cake?"), and, of course, your preferred hooch, from Absolut to Cristal, and how much you're willing to pay per bottle; $90 is the suggested minimum, a huge discount on the norm, which, no matter how many times you ask, never seems to come with a handjob. Once they've sent your proposal, Velvet'll email you back with a you're-good-to-go confirmation, or if your original request is unavailable, competing offers from other clubs -- proving you can indeed be a chooser, beggar.

Velvet also offers the same service for line-bypassing VIP entry, and although it's currently just available in Hollywood, major expansion is imminent. The service is also available right up until the last minute, since sometimes your "big night out" means "just found out my appliances are getting repossessed, wanna go on a bender?".

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Entry's guaranteed once you book: VelvetNightlife.com