Miami

From a couple U of F grads tired of getting post-college Heismans from college chicks on spring break, CollegeCourselorz is an iPhone app that helps olderish men bond with breakers by providing all the info you need to pretend you go to their school. The app covertly serves up all kinds of juicy deets, letting you slyly joke about which sororities suck, which pizza rocks, and which stairway in the library is the best place to get stoned. Unfortunately, the app does precious little to solve your other hindrance to picking up chicks, flowing, silvery ear hair.

Starts Thurs, 6 to 10pm, Club 50, Viceroy Hotel: 485 Brickell Ave, Brickell; 305.503.4400

Strolling distance from Brickell offices, Club 50 hosts a new sunset happy hour with a no-strings gratis cocktail before 7pm, reduced prices on nice stuff like Chopin, Belvedere, 10 Cane Mojitos, Glenmorangie, Navan, and Johnnie Walker Black, a special “Sunset Toast” with free pours of their Chopin Vodka/passion fruit/strawberry Sunset, and tunes by DJ Induce on a pool deck so high it'll make your office look like a hive of drones, so suck down that nectar.

Month of April, Titanic Brewery: 5813 Ponce De Leon Blvd, Coral Gables; 305.668.1742

Microbrewery/full-sized-seafood spot Titanic celebrates their 10-year bday April 1, giving you a comp beer with any meal and 2-for-1 everything from 10 to 11pm. For the rest of April, there's a $10 surf & turf (8oz New York strip, skewer of jumbo grilled shrimp, sides), and a $10 sandwich/beer/dessert combo (burger, mahi, turkey, or chicken, with Key lime pie), as well as a 10 to 11pm happy hour on suds like their award-winning Boiler Room Nut Brown Ale and Triple Screw Ale, which is pretty advanced for a ten-year-old.

Fri, 6pm to 12am, movie at 9pm, Double Grand WaterClub, Doubletree Grand Hotel: 1717 N. Bayshore Dr, Miami; 785.360.4127

Catch the S. Fla premiere of A Fly In The Champagne, a doc following surf rivals Andy Irons and Fla native Kelly Slater to Indonesia as they pursue the surfing world title, while you enjoy $12 draft pitchers and $5 mojitos. Also, event sponsor F1RST Surf Shop is running a Spring Clearance Sale through the weekend at its South Beach store: 20%-60% off the entire shop, and $50 to $100 off all new surfboards, which you'll need to prove your chops after loudly commenting that you thought Kelly Slater was the illegitimate spawn of Saved By The Bell.

Pizza Fusion: 14815 Biscayne Blvd, North Miami Beach; 305.405.6700

In addition to Sun to Thus half-off apps, beer, and wine from 3 to 6pm, fully organic Pizza Fusion's rolled out new nightly specials: Mon, spend $25 and get a free personal pizza; Tues, spend $25 and a free bottle of organic house wine is yours; Wed, drop $25 and any kid you bring along gets a free personal pizza (up to two kids); Thurs, buy a large pizza and get two free beers, one for you, and one to keep that kid getting you free pizzas on Wednesdays.