Ahnvee

A trip to New Orleans means world-class food and music, but it also means your dad's friends will email him links to pictures of you flashing your jugs. Get the Big Easy experience while safe in mostly-clothed Miami, at Ahnvee.

From a guy obsessed with the cuisine and music of New Orleans, Ahnvee (Creole for "to crave") gutted Club Deep and the spaces next door (thank god) and built out a NO-style supper club, with a stage for nightly live music, a dining room decked with French Quarter-ish woodwork, frosted windows, high-backed VIP booths with TVs for watching the live acts, and a menu of Cajun/Creole grub that would otherwise require crossing Alabama. Bayou-inspired apps include Louisiana crab cakes w/ Creole spice and mustard remoulade; Lobster & Escargot Pot Pie w/ leeks & St. Andre cheese in a puff pastry; and specials like fried 'gator -- although that seems unlikely considering how goddamn squeaky clean that Tebow is. Entrees take the form of one-pot classics like Seafood Gumbo w/ shrimp, crab & crawfish, and Jambalaya w/ andouille, chicken, shrimp & rice; Delta faves like Blackened Redfish w/ shrimp, crab, grits & hollandaise; and more worldly stuff like an 18oz Mishima Ranch Wagyu Ribeye w/ crawfish mac-n-cheese, shiitake 'shrooms, a demi-glace, and a multi-colored collard-green-like veggie called rainbow chard -- also the result of a handful of Olean Skittles.

Sunday brunch plans include an all-you-can-eat crawfish boil in which thousands of the buggers're cooked and spread out on a table, and the live tunes promise to be jazz-based, and sometimes fused with funk, rock, and even hip hop, with one artist offering a jazz rendition of "Lollipop" by NO native Lil' Wayne, also what your dad will soon know you showed to all of Bourbon Street due to an unfortunate YouTube link.