Miami's full of eardrum-crushing venues excellent for dates you don't want to talk to at all, but what about dates you want to talk to for a little bit, then not talk to, then talk to again, and then not talk to again? Get both ambience and conversational support, at Cozy Piano Bar.

Inspired by Parisian ivory-tickling venues, this shadowy jazz room's steez is mostly Moulin Rouge (high ceilings, finely beaded red wallpaper, onyx bar details, blood-red baby grand) with a Mini-Me's worth of Austin Powers (furry red pillows, floating moon lamps). The accomplished house pianist performs mellow jazz standards, plus guest requests ranging from Sinatra, to Alicia Keys, to French numbers about rainy nights, to a moodier take on "Message In A Bottle" (so the same, except "I'll send an SOS to the world" is also moody). The bar's dominated by champagne, top-shelf hooch, and small-batch Cognacs and Armagnacs, while the food's continental, with assorted dried meats, pate, foie gras, oysters, caviar, and tartares, including a plate of French-, Italian-, and Asian-style raw meat called "Menage a Trois de Viande" -- doesn't it suck when the menu steals your lame joke?

There will also be guest performers, including the Gypsy Kings this coming Saturday, likely packing the place so tight no one'll hear anything else -- great for those dates you think you might want to talk to, only to discover you'd rather get totally Bamboleo'd.

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Tickle her ivories at TheCozyBar.com