There's no more aggravating start to your day than a makeup-caked weatherman telling you a hurricane may or may not flatten your home. For deep weather info without hula-like hand movements, go to Stormpulse.com.

A scarily comprehensive area storm-tracking site, Pulse culls data from 20 official yet essentially unintelligible sources (cloud cover from U of Dundee, path predictions from the Geophysical Fluid Dynamics Laboratory, etc) and converts it into easily digestible visual info layered over an interactive, Google Earth-like map (apparently no restaurants are gaining strength off the coast of Cuba). If there's an active storm, 13 lab- and university-based tracking models are aggregated to reveal where it might wreak havoc, while clicks show details such as exactly when you might be hit by winds of specific strengths, ocean buoy water temp and wind readings, and mileage to the storm (answer: not enough). Meanwhile, a year-or-name search runs you through everything from 165mph Hurricane Andrew on back to 1851, when bad weather was designated by number, not name -- so instead of laughing at Hurricane Aloisius, you'll cower before big-ballin' Hurricane #1.

In the near future, Pulse plans to unveil a feature that'll let users battle to see who predicts storm paths more accurately -- even worse than weathermen, 'cause now the people guessing about your impending annihilation can't even be trusted to look good for you.

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For the skinny on fat storms go to Stormpulse.com