thrillist

Phone conversations are rife with nuggets you wish you could record -- your buddy swearing he'll give up smoking, your coworker asserting that Christian Bale is "attractive" -- but you ain't no G-Man. Enable your sneakiness, with System Of Proof.

Designed by a former law enforcement officer, System's a cell-, land-, and VoIP-compatible conversation-recording system intended to help the everyperson combat scourges such as minority profiling and abusive relationships -- but really, it's all about blackmail. Pick one of 3 monthly plans (1000, 1500, or unlimited minutes), dial up the provided personal toll-free number, 3-way conference an unsuspecting victim (note: probably illegal), then get ready for your girlfriend to drunkenly reveal her darkest secret -- that she really does know football, but'd rather feign ignorance than admit she received tutelage at Mark Chmura's house. Once you hang up, System'll immediately email you a file containing the recording, which you can download onto your computer or iPod, allowing you to work up a sick "Clandestinely Monitored Phone Call Beach Mix".

Since not everything important goes down over the phone, System lets you use the same dial-in to turn your cell into a portable mic -- use it when you get pulled over, and you'll have hard evidence that you got a ticket despite desperately telling the officer he was "attractive".

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Start blackmailing everyone you know after getting set up at SystemOfProof.com