This 'brella's shaft is made of crazy-hard/durable ABS composite material, so it "whacks as strong as a steel pipe" but "never raises suspicions" -- good 'til you encounter the Penguin, and realize you've made the classic blunder: bringing an umbrella-beating-stick to an umbrella-gun fight.

Watch a video of the inventor beating the hell out of it, and buy the 'brella at Real-Self-Defense.com

The company developing a Rubik's Cube Wii game is giving one lucky slacker a 1-year term, no-show job that nets them $7+grand, a Wii, and a car, and only requires "wasting time like a pro". The "interview" process is essentially you conveying how incredibly good you are at doing nothing, though the uber-bum they really want has already misplaced the application.

Prove you're the second laziest guy in the world by applying at KingofCubicles.com

Italian jeweler Nomination's offering two new stainless steel timepieces: the analog London, whose large round dial encloses a circular digital display, and the Tokyo, whose chunky digital readout interestingly displays seconds twice as large as the hours/minutes -- finally, a classy way to inject more stress into your life.

Ignore the tempting women's watches to reach the reward of the men's models at