Dial Sly's number plus the digits you want to reach, put up with some quick ads (or shell out 15¢ to skip 'em), and Sly'll put you right through to anyone's voicemail without their phone ever ringing -- perfect for reading scripted messages to chicks, making contact while quashing convos with lengthy chatterers, and convincing prideful hotshots that their new iPhones are busted.

Cut to the chase at SlyDial.com

These tabs deliver the same taste-altering properties as from-the-wild Miracle Fruit, tricking your tongue into tasting sour foods as sweet. Unlike the 20-to-30-minute-lasting, highly perishable berries, these guys last for two hours, and keep for up to six months -- by which your nightly dessert of lemons will have worn your tongue down to a shriveled nub.

Grab 'em up at MiracleFruitUSA.com

This they-thought-of-it-all charcoal cooker features two (one large, one smaller) height-adjustable, swing-out (for easy charcoal reloads) stainless-steel grills, an attached chopping board, and hooks for hanging BBQ tools -- though none'll be large enough to support that jerk who's always telling you to flip the steaks.

Get the grill at APlusRStore.com

Pop in your salary and you'll find out your exact position in worldwide wealth -- the financial equivalent of asking your girlfriend how you compare to that basketball team she used to date.

Find out where you stand at GlobalRichList.com