Nation

Tired of being the one person who never gets any calls when you're hanging out amongst friends? Never feel like a scabby pariah again with PopularityDialer.com.

Designed to be overheard by those near you, each PD call is a couple of minutes of scripted fawning, complete with real-life pauses. Just enter your phone number and choose the call time down to the minute. The only tough part is selecting the pre-recorded message that'll make you feel valued and loved:

Popularity Call: Rap with your too-cool-brah about tonight's club plans and tomorrow's happy hour. Great for those neg'd from fraternities.

Affirmation Call: Positive reinforcement so good that you'll forget to make your nightly calls to the suicide hotline.

Return To The Office Call: "Mr. Johnson" calls you about a photocopier problem that he needs your help on right away. An excellent way to convince people that, yes, you do have a job -- even if it's as a toner jockey.

Female Popularity Call: A sexy female voice to make girlfriends jealous and make your dad stop accusing you of being gay.

Though this site is brand new, there are already delays during prime evening rusing time. So, don't be too depressed when even your imaginary friends fail to call.