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Peddling "Cool Tees For Fresh Kids", Parisian outfit Druks implants its logo into well-known brand images: "Druks Beer" features Miller High Life-aping "Druks For Life" bottles, "Air Druks" slaps it onto a suspiciously Dunk-ish kick, and "Big Ass" pimps the phrase "My Girl Got A Big Ass (And I Like That)", from the best brand of them all, because giant donkeys are totally recession-proof.

Steez up any laptop with a cover from this Seattle-based design house, with prints ranging from the classics (plaid, camo), to wood-based looks like cork, walnut, and zebrawood, which narrowly edged out "erect horse".

This unassuming cassette tape's actually a Bluetooth receiver that'll play your phone's music, and also has a built-in mic, letting you big-pimp no-hands calls over your decrepit whip's stereo system, but leaving your collection of bootlegged Winger concert tapes "Headed For A Heartbreak".

Available in Tropical Citrus, Wild Berry, and Grape Punch, WU ferociously builds muscle with 20g of protein and slams you with taurine and caffeine, for the kind of raging energy you'll need to finally crush that Laugh Away Your Abs video, you twittering girl.

This blog stocks a cornucopia of user-submitted photos featuring middle fingers cleverly disguised as Christmas trees, phones, pumpkins, wizards, crustaceans, Sarah Palin, and even a ninja, because the most devastating middle finger is the one that you never see coming, then launches tiny throwing stars into your face.