Nation

Relive the sweaty high of football glories past with completely authentic championship rings from your broke childhood heroes. Digit-rocks include S.B. hardware from the '99 Rams, '78 Steelers, '01 Pats, and '88 Niners, or snap up ex-Cowboy WR Kelvin Martin's '92 Lombardi Trophy -- whose e-pawning's a fittingly classy move for the man they called "K-Mart".

A simple alternative to saving entire pages to read offline, pop any url in the subject of an email to browse@webinmail.com, and in minutes you'll receive the entire page (w/ pics/links) in navigable form in your inbox. To follow a link, just click, send the auto-created email, and the next page'll show up straight away, assuming you have an internet connection, in which case, what the hell are you doing surfing the net through email?

The Salt Lake footsters recently updated their e-shop with fresh, affordable (all < $100) Spring kicks, including three new colorways (white/cyan, canary yellow/white smoke, black/neon green) on their classic canvas slip-on Ake, the hi-top Albert in all-white leather, and the brand-new Parker, a canvas lace-up low top available in in Joker green, which'll query, "Where does he get those wonderful toes?"

Supplements straight from Six Million Dollar Linebacker Bill Romanowski and available online only, N53 proffers three different solvents: Lean1 to curb hunger and build muscle, Neuro1 to sharpen focus and increase mental stamina, and Sleep1 for deep, rejuvenating sleep while dreaming about your teammate's spit-filled crushed eye socket.

Prime your manly pump with advice from R4M, which, with every page refresh, dishes one-liners like "In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 guys", "Never piss when sitting down, unless taking a dump", and a maxim decreeing you should always augment your man-business by two inches whenever it comes up in conversation -- keep refreshing until you get the rule that says man-business-size should never come up in conversation.