Nation

Your gal will be elated when she gets your V-Day gift of a half- or full-dozen roses in assorted shades, then shocked when she discovers they're all actually carefully rolled low-rise lace panties, the cleverest relationship bait and switch since...you.

This simple search engine has a twist: queries're returned on a split screen, with standard results on the left. Hover over them, and you'll get a preview of the linked page on the right, ensuring you don't get the wrong kind of "Horse Lover" (but how can it be wrong when it feels so right?).

Available in crew and v-neck, and in either a basic cotton or micro-modal blend, TJ's tees prevent the bulking and riding that plague lesser undershirts via patented Tailor Stretch technology, a fancy way of saying seriously snug and long enough to provide a second underwear layer, or first, if you're feeling flirty.

This GMap reports sightings of McRib sandwiches: red flag=recent sighting, yellow flag=sighting 10-plus days old, and an "X" inside either one denoting a "questionable McRib sighting". Questionable? What the hell else could it be, a weather balloon?

This flow chart pentagram breaks down heavy metal's verdant band names, covering genres from The Occult (White Zombie, Burning Witch) to General Creepiness (Gorefest, Burning Tomb), flowing from Badass Misspellings (Korn, Eyehategod) to Pointless Misspellings (Def Leppard, Alcatrazz), and even including Faulkner References, like As I Lay Dying, The Sound and the Fury, and Corncob Rape, believe it or not, a reference to his Sanctuary, which apparently wasn't.